In the last four years we have witnessed a climate of escalating and distorted masculinity and machismo. A climate that has gotten so bad an elected official publicly accused another elected official of being a Girlie Man. The implication is that the man is bad because he is like a girl. This implies of course that girls are bad, weak, not to be trusted. But maybe it's the exact opposite. Maybe if we all had as much feminine inside us as masculine (not necessarily a gendered thing-I know many macho women for example) the world might be more balanced.

Since I like to reclaim words, I'd like to do the same for Girlie Man.. So I am going to propose that we all take it upon ourselves to strive to be Girlie Men. Here's what he/she might look like:

A Girlie Man has the capacity to know what someone else is feeling and works to develop this capacity, otherwise know as compassion. A Girlie Man knows that to be able to have ones feelings and know ones feelings is not the obstacle to power but the source of it. They are willing to ask questions-to not know everything. Rather than seeking revenge they seek solutions. They take time, not control. They come to know people rather than destroy them. They see themselves in everyone and everyone in them. They don't think sensitive is a dirty word. They know that intimacy is far more terrifying than violence. They know that crying isn't weakness. It's a relief and it can transform despair and humiliation and rage. They don't apologize for not wanting to fight or kill or bomb. They build community, consider the future, love to dance, like clothes, crave ice cream, like to be hugged, kissed. Bring on the Girlie Men. Elect a Girlie Man. Become a Girlie Man.

Eve Ensler